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George J. Searles, Editor/Publisher
Box 51
Clinton, NY 13323
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Glimpse was first published in Toronto in 2000 by founding editor Alene Evason, who produced fifty issues and remains the inspiration behind the magazine. For this we thank her!
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Send up to three previously unpublished poems, a brief cover letter, and a three-sentence bio during our submission period, September 1 – October 31. Please include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. If submitting via email, please send all three poems in one Word doc attachment. Bio and postal address must appear in the body of the email. We cannot pay contributors, but they receive two copies of the issue in which their work appears. Contributors retain copyright to everything published in Glimpse, and nothing may be reproduced in any format or medium without their permission.
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This issue is dedicated to
Andrea Gibson (1975-2025),
Fanny Howe (1940-2025),
X.J. Kennedy (1929-2026),
David Slavitt (1935-2025), and
Ellen Bryant Voigt (1943-2025)
CONTENTS
At the Top
standing up as straight as I could,
my mother took me on the Ferris wheel
at the amusement park down the shore.
She let me hand our tickets to the attendant
before we slid into a metal seat
and pulled the safety bar down,
swaying slowly before we rose.
It wasn’t long before
the palmetto trees dwarfed below us.
When we stopped at the top
for other passengers to climb aboard,
Mom and I sat huddled in the red bucket
Overlooking the boardwalk,
the blue Atlantic rolling across the sand,
the air pungent with salt and suntan lotion
and dough in the deep fryers.
Slowly rocking as in a cradle,
the faint, piped melody from the merry-go-round
ran through me like a lullaby
with my head nestled in the crook
of my mother’s arm and chest.
Cotton candy clouds seemed mine for the taking.
The sun on my legs was a warm hand.
My sneakers dangled, defying air.
When the wheel moved downward,
Mom pulled away, gathering her hat and bag.
I peered over the metal bar at the line
waiting for a ride.
Eager faces of other children looked up
while holding an adult hand.
I felt their anticipation,
wished them all a long stop at the top.
Binoculars
the distant world at his fingertips.
He’d watch for rabbits in his vegetable garden
from the kitchen window,
follow the swallows’ progress
as they threaded gourd-shaped nests
under the eaves of the carport,
keep his eye on the comings and goings of bees.
He would call me,
adjust the barrels to my small face,
have me rotate the lens ring for a sharp picture,
helping me hold the weight
until I grew strong enough
to look through those magic eyes on my own.
He asked me to aim up
on a crisp October night
to see the craters on the harvest moon.
I scanned the sky until the bight edge
appeared in the lens,
roving the mysterious surface
back and forth,
dark spots taking shape and dimension,
the moon becoming real.
My father’s been gone 20 years now.
His binoculars sit on a shelf by my back door
to catch a butterfly in flight
or a fawn in the woods.
Sometimes I still gaze at the moon.
I remember his large hands over mine
each time I twist the world into focus,
childhood refracted in the crystals.
IN LAUNDROMAT, LATE AFTERNOON
with their private weather.
Inside each one: a storm
contained by glass.
A woman folds socks
with a care usually reserved
for letters.
A man watches the dryer spin
as though it could explain something.
The air smells of soap
and electricity.
Decisions are like the clicking of quarters
already made.
When my clothes come out warm,
I lay my face a moment in them—
a borrowed comfort.
Even clean things, it seems,
remember where they’ve been.
What Remains after the Phone Call
the room does not rush
to fill the silence.
It waits.
The clock resumes
its small insistence.
The refrigerator hums—
a sound that means
nothing is wrong.
I look at my hands,
still holding the shape
of the phone,
as if touch leaves an echo.
Whatever was said
has settled now—
not as words
but as weight,
evenly distributed.
Instructions
Don’t get your meat where you get your bread.
Don’t take any wooden nickels.
Never give a sucker an even break.
Don’t take No for an answer.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.
Never say die.
Don’t give up your day job.
Don’t cry over spilled milk.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Don’t get mad, get even.
Don’t let the grass grow under your feet.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Never say never.
HER FIRST MAN FRIEND
left in the desert to die
& had crawled back
into town with a thirst
of seven shipwrecked
sailors, spoke like
Hank Williams with
a hangover six hairs of
the coyote beers couldn’t
touch but they helped
him down the road toward
where he needed to be,
to what he did best,
howling at the moon
after all the bars had
closed until he passed
out cold which is how
she found him by the side
of the road waiting to be
nursed back to life with
Hamm’s, Olympia, Stroh’s,
anything in a can, hot mama,
lover lips, so many times
they both almost believed it
ON A MURANO ISLAND
A thick hide sleeve covers Marco’s arm, the one that faces
the furnace maw. He holds a long hollow pipe, soft glass
wad at the end, and thrusts it fast into the fire, exhales
slowly, twirls the pipe for symmetry; a blue vase
is born, silica and brimstone. Acrid air fills torrid
room. The vase comes alive, sings at its birth.
His other hand holds shears, then the wooden
paddle that shapes the vase. He plunges the orb
in a bucket of ice water, pushes it back to the heat,
to a new icy bath where sulfate and silver crackle, lighten
bright blue to sunlit sea. Marco’s father taught him to blow
glass when he was seven, like grandfather and great-grand
before that, words forever in his mind: solid glass is the rod,
molten glass is the gather, graphite tools keep the mass
together. At just the right time he flares the open edge;
it takes time to learn each moment, or discard and
begin anew, to imagine how long to blow, know
when to stop. The heat erased his fingerprints
years ago. Tradition takes him to work daily.
His face, tanned by furnaces; the wild fire
of his life gives him status. In Murano
all the isles connect with bridges.
Making glass connects Marco
to his solid glass island.
Hush
money, but
money always
talks.
INTRODUCTION TO COLOR
fades.
Message
self, only slipped
inside this bottle
because I thought
there was a ship
in here, because I
thought you
might be on it.
DRAGGING THE RIVER
how they could—
how they could
make a river
go where other-
wise it wouldn’t.
We knew this
involved chains
and someone
who’d gone
missing—as
if missing
were a place,
as if you
could whip
a river into
behaving, as
if you could
drag it
to a place—
like the past—
where whatever
had happened
hadn’t.
Stretch
in heaven, we
say, making
ends meet.
YOUTH
a light-
ness we
could carry
only
so far.
MID-WINTER MALADY
like dandruff, dusts the shoulders of the hills,
the intervening rooftops, window sills.
That we have somehow made a turn almost
discernible in this frost. That darkness
will still continue to darken before
each dawn is too hard for us to ignore.
That despite the ice, we are on notice.
That a balance somewhere has been shifted.
Our days will be getting longer, warmer,
while our nights will get shorter and shorter.
Who needs candles, bonfires to be bedazzled
by through these cold, dark nights? When wrens
will sing about the promises that spring will bring.
NEW RIVER NEW YEAR NOW HERE
of all those streams that feed it. The iced
rims melting. Both egret and heron
stepping out. The kingfisher sweeping
in where kingfishers had gone before
him. The tap-tap-tapping of the wood-
peckers. The hollowing out of salt
grasses and reeds. The stoic stance
of all those trees that survived another
hurricane season. Walking, walking,
I mark the winter and give greetings.
FIVE CHILDREN, 1960
Girls with hair bows broad as Kleenex,
boys with white ties clipped to their collars.
Only Allison smiles, her mouth a minus sign
but twitching upward at the edges.
Richard G., my downstairs neighbor,
back straight, hands clasped, head lowered.
Paul, the boy who sobbed the day
he came to school without his Flav-R-Straw
and had to drink plain white at milk time.
Even here his eyes are soaked in doubt.
The tall girl (Jan?) who stares as though
on trial for petty theft. And then there’s me,
in front, puffed sleeves, pressed hanky
pinned to waistband, face and body slumped
as if, instead of Cheese! The one who aimed
the Kodak Brownie box had called out,
Liver and canned peas tonight, and the TV’s dead.
A SMALL BOY WALKS THROUGH THE FOREST CARRYING SOUP TO HIS GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE
this is a fairy tale. This is a line
I made up to repeat in my head
in the hope that I can ride it
back to sleep. It’s 3 a.m. A small boy
walks through the forest carrying soup
to his grandmother’s house. The path
is stone-free, flat and straight
as if someone had parted the trees
with a comb. But I don’t see a house
at the end. Not even a lamp.
How far must keep shuffling, wrapped
in his gray wool coat, hood flat between the
shoulders, elbows sagging with the pot’s weight?
He walks through the forest carrying
soup to his grandmother’s house,
and I fall in step behind him,
where it’s hard to keep from picturing
the stove’s blue flame, white steam
on the windows, Grandmother
(hopeless insomniac) setting out two,
maybe three, brown bowls with spoons.
1967
Most people died around forty-five.
Even those who lived longer
Had good legs and wanted to dance.
They painted their bedrooms purple,
Named their children Rocket Star or Marigold.
People learned batik & macramé, grew carrots.
Some stopped sleeping entirely.
A few got stiff necks
From looking up too much at night,
Learning constellations and their names.
Others noticed sore knees.
But no one visited the doctor.
Everyone knew the world
Was ending anyway
IN MY WHEELHOUSE
the sun bright
and warm enough
to believe winter over,
I dug into the batter’s box
in my leadoff crouch,
a line drive hitter
batting for average
and the bases I could
steal. We were a small
team at a small school,
losing more than we
won. In the morning
before home games,
my co-captain John and I
took turns on the rusty tractor
dragging the diamond smooth,
then rolling out the foul lines
once the dust had settled.
I was a first-pitch taker,
weighing and waiting,
but this one came in fat
and straight, just off
the middle of the plate,
in my wheelhouse,
and that day of all days
I didn’t think about it,
just swung with all I had.
I felt the satisfying jolt
from my wrists to the root
of my groin, and the ball
shot off in an arc
I knew would carry.
As I sprinted into second
the ball bounced
onto the tennis courts,
and the outfielders
pulled up from their chase.
John at third put up
his hands to slow me
down, and when I
caught up to him
we trotted the rest
of the way home
to meet the team
in one transcendent
mosh pit of joy (though
we wouldn’t have
used the word joy then,
much less transcendent).
I don’t even remember
if we won the game,
but every once in a while
in these low times
I rewind that day
to remind myself
that I did something
once, something
as close to perfect
as I was likely to get,
but also this:
that the past is past,
and every at-bat
starts with no balls
and no strikes.
APPROACH TO VENICE
Barges and gondolas are setting out
across the water for the last time today
with their cargo and vague shapes of men
as the moon rises in one blue corner
and the sun, spilling copper and citron,
sinks behind you. Draw nearer
to the city of stone and gold,
suspended in mist,
beguiling from a distance,
your unattainable islands.
GOING SOMEWHERE
farther and farther
through a dreamscape of vapor and repetition,
when an old black Buick
pulls up alongside me
and my father leans out the window,
flicks the ash from his cigarette: Going somewhere?
and my mother opens the door
and smiles, there’s plenty of room,
she says, hop in, so I do.
Reading Cavafy on the Outskirts of the Capital
opened to an abandoned page. Later, lamplight
and shadow brush the poem. You start again.
Every few words, a word you don’t understand
but must look up and try to remember.
Kratisiklia is reassuring her son Kleomenes,
the last great king of Syria, that she,
proud to be of service to the state,
would willingly go to Egypt as a hostage
with her young grandsons to secure the alliance
against Macedon. Royalty knows how to bear
the turn of circumstance without complaint.
In Alexandria, after another disastrous war,
the whole family would be eradicated
and that would be the end of Sparta
as they had known it. Characters
from third century intrigues,
obscure and irrelevant, except perhaps
to one living in a suburb of the capital,
adrift on the periphery of its splendor.
NEW YEAR
and the beer and bourbon
after the last dance at midnight
when the laughter in the kitchen
has died down
and the short-order cook
at the corner diner
has called it a night
there’s the long walk home
through driving snow
with a stop in Hell’s Kitchen
to light up a cigarette
under the awning
of the Korean grocery
by a kiosk selling papers
telling of last year’s news.
A new year—
The ambivalent heart wavers
between hope and despair
as it always has
year after year
after year.
Will the same resolutions
be made again
the vows to be good
to behave the way
you know you should
will they be kept
or will they be swept
away by the waters
of winter’s melting snow.
And what of the wider world
that broken world of pain and suffering
that scrolls across your TV screen
will you look away
will you hope and pray
that generations to come
will save the day
for after all
what can you do
in the ninth decade of life
feeling the weight of years.
You look out
into the darkness and
in the hush of night
you hear a saxophone—
The music floats out
over the gray buildings
suffusing the silent night air with song
and for a moment
the speed of time is stilled
and the shuttered heart
slowly opens.
AT THE COAST
Not so much a snore as a purr,
Sarah sleeping, with light
through the blinds
streaking her silvery hair.
The rhythm of the surf,
an occasional squawk
of a gull, the low moan
of a ship far off.
It’s late October.
No one else is staying
at this seaside inn.
Our only plan is
to stroll on the beach
whenever we are ready,
collect sand dollars,
maybe edge ankle-deep
into the icy ocean
for a moment.
The first car of the morning
passes by,
muffler clanking.
I can’t imagine
where it’s been
or where it has to go.
When Sarah shows signs
of waking I’ll set
the coffee brewing
but she’s just rolled over
to face a beam of sun,
hands pressed palm-to-palm
between her cheek
and the flowered pillow.
MAYFLY SEASON
along Millers River, the confluence
with Tarbell Brook. Brown trout leap
repeatedly for the hatch, as I watch
a heron stretch its long neck over
a riffle, take a stab and miss.
I, too, have come up empty
all morning, flubbing cast upon cast,
my finest hand-tied sparkle dun lost
high in a yellow birch. But the sun
flickers through budding maples
and the air is soft. On days like this
my father used to tell me it’s not about
catching, only being. I can almost
believe I detect his pipe smoke
on the breeze—a blend of cognac
and roasted chestnuts. I place
my rod down on the bank,
take a deep breath,
turn and face the current.
A STRAIGHT SHOT
of my father’s death
& I’m driving through
my hometown
with the radio tuned
to a station that once
was mainstream rock
but now plays country
with whines of one-
night stands turned bad
& Jesus. All the windows
in the paper mill are busted,
the roof sunken. Swanson’s
block-long department store
is gone, the building razed
and replaced with knock-off
fast food joints. I speed past
the Neponset River, where
my father schooled me
on catch & release, then slow
as I near the intersection
of Main & Oak. A right
turn leads eventually
to the interstate,
left is a straight shot
to the cemetery.
FULL SUN
When Isabel passes, the nonchalant niece in St.
Louis lets things go. Weeds take over Isabel’s
lawn. Every day, it seems, there are more. What
about property values? Gloria points out
bluegrass and ox tongue. Says they can stay but
chickweed and thistle have to go. We meet with
gloves and trowels. We work on our knees, then
help each other up. We read seed catalogs and
start composting. Tommy brings lemonade.
Music makes its way out of Joaquin’s west
window. Nicky’s dog laps water in 4/4 time. A
gardener leaves his card, but we don’t want a
noisy gardener because of the House Finch,
Anna’s Hummingbird, Dark-eyed Junco and now
and then among all that plumage a Northern
Cardinal like one drop of blood in a mystery
series.
HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM
“Show me some identification: Driver’s license,
student I.D., dog tags. Debit card, credit card.
Pedigree. Chai-dentity. Blank check. Phone bill.
Passport. Permanent resident card. Employee
I.D. is fine. Native American tribal document.
Social security card? Certification of birth abroad.
Anything. Keep Looking. Sales receipt, full or
simplified invoice, tax return, health insurance
card, rewards card from CVS, voter I.D., flight
crew I.D., union membership card, marriage
certificate, rental agreement, gym membership,
car insurance, bank statement, newspaper article
with your name and picture, letter addressed
to you, or postcard or… You’ve got what? Why
didn’t you say so? Show me your phone then. So
this is you, Rodolpho. And your dog..What’s his
name?”
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE FREEWAY?
Well, she didn’t. Four crowded lanes at all hours.
No savvy fowl would even consider the other side
as an option if it weren’t for the farmer’s
bloodthirsty wife. The chicken knows that in 1793
thousands were beheaded. Yet ten months later
the Reign of Terror ended with the death of
Robespierre. A barnyard isn’t the same as 18th
Century France, but there are similarities. The
chicken decides to return to the hen house with
its small library of history books. More study may
be necessary.
LOPSIDED PIGTAIL BRAIDS
please, when you’re naked,
hair dripping from your five-minute shower.
Arms wrap around your leg
as you take out a plate and knife,
tuck the towel around your body
tighter.
She asks you why you are wet,
tells you she loves you so big,
that you’re a silly mama,
a good mama,
the best.
You kiss her
hard and she smells like sweat
and peanut butter
and you can barely open
your eyes, try not to slip
with the knife.
You scrape strawberry slices
into a bowl and
the baby screams. She runs
to him—
a gentle pat on the head,
There, there,
Shhh.
You try to be a mom
that can whip up tight,
neat braids
in a time crunch,
no fly aways.
Instead, you are reckless
with the spray bottle,
soaking her neck more
than her hair.
Her pigtails come out
lopsided no matter how many times
you redo them.
You remind her to eat her strawberries
but she is too busy dancing.
She closes her eyes
and twirls.
No Return Address
look for the pens
I know won’t be there,
no longer in stock.
There are no pens like them, you said,
they were the best gift I ever gave you
until the ink ran out.
No way to replace them,
just constant searching.
The pens came in soft pastels and on them
were sayings like
You’re awesome, You can do this
and other generic affirmations
that felt less like clichés
and more like your antidepressants
were finally working.
The smooth black ink never smudged
and made you want
to write your own name over and over.
I stare at the spot
in the pen section where yours should be
and wonder if I miss you the right amount,
they’ll suddenly appear.
I’d wrap them up in a perfect package,
mail them to you, no letter, no return address
so you can pretend you don’t know
who sent them.
I would buy a pack for myself,
write my name next to yours on new stationery,
imagine we kept
our no matter what promise—
and maybe
If we stay on paper—unmoving, but always searching.
WHERE IS THE BLOOD?
the light all over me, more demanding
than a hungry cat.
A blood moon, the news says,
but it’s canary yellow—
Can shadows make mistakes?
I trace the veins on my hand,
remember they are blue lies.
Eyes can’t process
what’s inside of me.
Blood is real only when
we feel its stickiness, taste and small copper,
hear a ringing as the world splits
in half, body dizzy from loss.
I want to touch the moon,
hear her secrets and keep them.
I want to know her true color,
even if color is just a feeling,
a primal pull,
making me look up.
CHIPPED AWAY
evening light
is thinner,
air
has trouble breathing,
oceans
are taking over sand,
swallowing
the beach?
We did this,
chipped away
at the bones of beauty,
the earth, the seas,
leaving the sun, the moon
alone in the sky
with no one
to shine on.
BASKET
mobile devices
old as the wheel
without need
of battery or plug—
and admire this one
woven in farm country
for apples or potatoes
bless its heart
heart being what helps a thing
to age with grace.
Long used as interior decoration
its ribs stiffen
yet each remains straight
and neatly in place
the braided trim
still a sign of weaver’s pride.
While lit screen and lamp
can light this room
the basket is what warms it—
bowl empty
ready to receive and carry
when it comes
whatever is given.
SUNDAY WOMAN
White wicker. Painted gingerbread. Palm
fronds curving early shadows where I
sit shaping poems. This balcony takes me
towards wide sky where a slow hawk hopes
for chickens. Sloping roofs of weathered
metal protect long windows and doors,
a porch hung with a hundred crystals
that glitter in air’s sway. Who am I
to shape a home so southward
of my fears? I wear a turquoise
cotton skirt, loose-woven rainbow slippers:
Do More of What Makes You Happy
the words across my new soft shirt
dark pink as drifts of bougainvillea
petals falling on Fleming Street.
THE WILD IN ME
tail so black and curved and shining
I can’t help following him along
the cracked red bricks where rare butterflies
open sapphire wings to dry.
They’ve come from spotted caterpillars
bold with an orange almost red
as they smoothly curl around rough roots
surviving heat and hurricanes. Key
West is where I’ve learned to breathe
openly, differently, freely whole
as palms share their brilliant stories
a thousand shades of green.
The rooster now is leading me
slowly to where a good man writes
poems of hibiscus, orchids. We are here
in love together, and the rooster knows
we both await his long loud crow
where no one fences, no one gates
the blackness his spirit lives to be,
true color of all gleam.
SEPTEMBER DAY
streaking grass between the trees
with radiant stripes, tipping leaves
with gold, the sky as blue and cloudless,
the air as crisp, as the day the towers fell,
clogging lungs with fear, spreading
seeds of hate across the globe
that burrowed deep into the earth
and bloomed in endless wars.
It was the end of something
and also a beginning,
though we couldn’t see
beyond our shock what else
was falling, what else
went up in smoke.
This is the morning after,
the clear blue sky full of regret.
What could we have done
differently? What should we not
have done? What can we do now?
The questions hang in the morning air.
Today the beauty of the light
evokes an ache of nostalgia
for the innocent time before,
when a blue sky didn’t feel ominous
and there seemed to be a path
forward, however much
we stumbled on our way.
THE STONES OF ORADOUR
They speak with charred tongues,
the jagged roofless walls
like broken teeth in a mouth
howling to the sky.
All the men lined up
and shot by German boys,
their women and children
locked in the church
and burned alive by a grenade
tossed in to quash resistance
as the soldiers pushed north
toward Normandy,
setting the town on fire
as they left. We walk
the empty streets, reading
the signs on wrecked walls:
Dentist. Pharmacie. Café.
Garage. Forgerons.
Behind glassless windows
rusty blacksmith’s tools
at the abandoned forge,
a rusty hulk of a car
that will never be repaired.
The grass is green now,
the weeds have thrived.
Birds fill the air
with song, unmindful
of the echo of distant
bombs falling in Gaza
and Ukraine, the centuries
of spears and swords,
cannons and guns.
We walk the streets
peopled by ghosts,
mourning the past,
the future, the lessons
of history unlearned.
THE ONLY LIT STOREFRONT ON THE BLOCK
In the laundromat across the street,
two plastic stacking chairs
sit side by side in the window
through which I watch
in the store’s white light
a pale pair of legs—
blue gym shorts
descending to mid-thigh,
feet in neon green crocs—
carry a basketless bundle of laundry
from a washer on the left
to a dryer on the right.
A man wearing a fedora,
holding a phone against his left ear,
right arm raised in what
from up here on the sixth floor
looks like frustration,
steps from the street
into the chair on the left,
pointing as he does so
to where those legs
must have walked to
in the back of the store.
Then, the phone still against his ear,
right hand gesticulating
as if conducting an orchestra
that will not heed his cues,
he leaves, heading west
on Northern Boulevard.
Just as he crosses the line
where the street lamp’s light ends,
the lamp itself, as it has done
twice already since I’ve been sitting here,
goes dark, leaving
Vista Dental’s neon marquee
to bathe the sidewalk once again
in a smoke-filled-blues-bar blue
that takes me back to 11th grade.
“You’re not like these religious boys,”
Mrs. Lynch waved her hand around the room
as if my classmates were seated at their desks.
“Ten years from now,
I see you playing blues piano
In a bar on Bleecker Street.
Who knows where they will be?”
It wasn’t the blues,
and it was less than a decade later,
but for one night in my twenties,
Judy Lynch wasn’t wrong.
Bill sang the song we wrote,
his words, my music,
and I wish I could say I thought of her
as my hands moved across the keys
on stage at The Bitter End,
but that would be a lie.
I don’t remember what I thought,
except I didn’t want to end
with the whole step Bill insisted
made the melody complete,
and I have often wondered since
if the minor second I played instead
Is where the dissonance we walked away from
when our friendship ended
began. I wish I could ask him,
but I don’t know where Bill is.
The legs in the laundromat reappear,
turn towards the front door,
and the woman whose dark shape
I can now make out through the glass
turns the key in its lock.
Looking right, then left, then right again,
she tilts her head up,
lifting what would be her gaze
if I could see her eyes
into my line of sight,
and for half a breath,
I’m sure she sees me,
and I wonder,
if I wave to her,
will she wave back?
GRAY MORNING
which was a clamp
is becoming a colander.
More flows through.
It all feels looser,
with holes.
LOVE FROM THE OTHER SIDE
as a launch to every day. My father’s in such shock
he often speaks in Arabic and it’s just a guess. Ya Allah
how could people be so cruel to each other, how did they forget? But then he comforts me. Stop worrying
how to fix it. You didn’t do it. My mother quotes
St. Francis, Sri Ramakrishna, as a way to stay calm,
and tells me again at the end of the driveway,
Be your best self. I still can’t believe they let me walk
so far alone when I was so young. It was another
World for sure. Now I think a better world, though we
still had hopes for the future. And my son says, Yeah?
No. As he always said to make everyone laugh. Their
love as a cushion, a bolster to Friday chores
and Valentine’s Day without them here to give
anything to, but that’s not true. It’s all theirs, I’m still
theirs, we did our best, and their love is my air.
ROOTED
you’re so tall. Your father and I
tip our heads with pride.
We have no idea where you go
When you’re not with us.
Goodness
“Evil has a blockbuster audience,
goodness lurks backstage.”
Toni Morrison
goodness I say
if mildly surprised
but it is not my intention here
what is goodness truly
what does it mean to have goodness
is it simply doing the right thing
every time but who can do that
when I see goodness
will I recognize it
my image of goodness
is my mom working
for most of her life
as a mother and waitress
seeing her telling a hungry
stranger order anything
on the menu and then
taking care of the bill herself
MY FRIEND MARYJANE
increased use of marijuana, they
show people smoking, often
together. At my dispensary,
more than 60% of customers
are buying indica or CBD
for sleep, no THC highs desired.
Most of us chew gummies because
in old age sleep is elusive,
captious like a playful dog who
runs from you wanting to be
chased. Weed is sticky, grabs
and holds sleep in my body.
Praise that plant with many names.
I wake blessing you for your gift
that heals me nightly.
THIS MORNING, OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
through our woods. How
surprising that she makes
a noise with each step.
She is accompanied
by a yearling and a faun.
They nibble as they walk.
They’re hungry for what-
ever the land still offers.
Harvest is in, processed.
Freezer full. Shelves hold
jars of canned tomatoes.
You’re welcome to what’s
left, beautiful neighbors.
Summer people are gone,
these woods are now yours.
WHAT MY MOTHER TRIED TO TEACH ME
I had fifty loves before I settled
Into monogamy. I learned some
thing from every one of them.
“Get an office job, bring home
a paycheck.” I left at seventeen,
was poor almost a decade.
Made money as a writer at last.
“Your mouth is too big. You’re
ugly.” I was the ugly duckling. Then
a black swan for years. Husband
still thinks I’m beautiful.
“A woman needs a husband
to survive.” I mostly supported
every one of them, always
the breadwinner after 30.
I made my own way, in spite
of her probing, doom forecasts.
Her advice was for another era,
another woman, but not me.
BIG SHOULDERS, LONG HAIR
at the Miss America contest in Atlantic City,
we learned from Arlene Francis
when she introduced her fellow panelists that night,
the family huddled around the Motorola.
Hal Simms, the announcer, welcomed us,
then praised the sponsor, Sunbeam Electric Appliances
Two mystery guests entertained us that night,
for whom the panelists all put on their masks.
Gray hair long like a Dave Clark Five musician,
I would reflect a few years later,
at the start of the show, Sandberg signed in.
“Who’s that?” I asked my parents.
I knew who the next mystery guest was,
Milton Berle, but this man was unfamiliar to me.
But my parents shushed me,
As if we were sitting in a movie theater.
After four incorrect answers,
but confirming the mystery guest was a writer,
Nick Adams, one of the panelists—
he starred in the TV series The Rebel—
asked if he was Ernest Hemingway.
Speaking in a monosyllabic falsetto,
Sandburg said, “Nope.”
Arlene Francis then asked
If he was “a great historian of Lincoln,”
and when he said again, in falsetto,
“You’re simply terrible!”
Arlene announced triumphantly,
“It’s the glorious Carl Sandburg!”
As he was about to leave his seat, to exit the stage,
Sandburg asked Daly if he might predict
who would win the upcoming election.
The date was September 11, 1960.
The poet confided with a smile,
“The winner will have a luxuriant head of hair.”
“Is he running for president?” I asked,
innocent eight-year-old that I was.
THEME SONGS
nobody remembers, let alone compare
two theme songs nobody remembers.
But for the record, I preferred
the second What’s My Line? theme,
the one from the sixties.
The original theme, “Melody in Moccasins,”
composed by Wilfred Burns, felt like
something heralding the computer age;
you could see reams of code spilling out
of big IBM printers, as mainframes churned
in empty, fluorescent-lit rooms,
virtually screaming, Brainy!
But the second, arranged by Eddie Sauter and Bill Finnegan,
a musical composition originally written for Arpege perfumes
by the famous jingle writer Sascha Burland,
felt just like the perfect background
for Dorothy Kilgallen to come waltzing
from behind the curtain in a shoulderless gown,
take her seat at the panel, introduce the next panelist,
followed by Arlene Francis, a string of pearls
swaying in rhythm with her hips,
a sound that promised something sophisticated,
an atmosphere of alcoholic abandon,
and behold, bowtied Bennett Cerf,
smiling like a man holding a martini,
comes through the curtain and takes his seat
before introducing the moderator, John Charles Daly.
Maybe it was the horn section
that made it all seem so ballroom-y big.
You’ve just got to hear these theme songs
to understand what I’m getting at.
Maybe they’re on YouTube.
THE MYSTERY GUEST
a recognizable celebrity for whom the panelists
all donned masks, as at a masquerade ball.
That 1966 show with the federal tax examiner?
That night there were two mystery guests,
Walter Cronkite and Art Carney.
Usually it was just one.
In the usual course of play,
each panelist asked questions until
he or she got a negative response,
then the next panelist took a turn,
the guest having racked up five bucks.
With the mystery guest, the rules changed:
Each panelist asked one question
before the next got a turn.
We sat on the edge of the couch
watching the masked panelists,
four blind mice, fumble for answers.
What a joy the night Art Carney signed in,
the voices he used to disguise himself.
I remember it prompted Arlene Francis to ask,
“You are a comedian, aren’t you?”
And Carney responded in the high cartoon voice,
“Sometimes. Sometimes I can make people cry.”
How we howled back home in Potawatomi Rapids,
all of us staring at the black and white TV,
as if huddled before a campfire—
Mom, Pop, Dave, Bob, and me;
I’m the last of us still living.
A GENEVA PSALTER: #1
Conditional numbers, colors
Of hair afloat beside Ophelia. Composition
Is the water in hand, taking permission
As needed. This is where the law ends.
This is a maid’s outpourings
Never contained. Some are white;
Some take Jew and Areopagite
Into epiphanies two thousand years.
This afternoon, in very small light,
Snow falls here in upstate New York,
Being a Mennonite lady, sharp
In sudden languages and cap.
Permission feathers our ground, her few.
A Geneva Psalter #2
To the grass smelling of new bread, the bread
It really is. Oblivescence, my John Clare,
We kiss. He had wakened from a dream of much
Feeding. There were fields wearied by drought
Still providing, obedient in deep ranks
To miracle. Nothing worth repeating
Shows God everywhere, one and done.
The manure of oblivion is seed.
Through weeks of lilac, look and look where the old
Man never again, as always, begins
Moving earth out of earth to no return.
The colors hurt so. Hilltops are comforted
With broken clouds: least eagles and the absolute.
A Geneva Psalter #3
The sounds flowing backwards stride by stride, a perfect
Annihilation, and we are the bared ground
Afterwards, and cattle. Even so changed,
Cattle. Imagine the Book of Job given
Eyes, mild for desolation. Much is forgiven
Where all puts humanness aside. It was,
After all, a disguise copied out of books,
Childbirth inventions to frighten a child.
Better infinities go to work on trees.
Columns of noise flow up through the branches,
Making flowers, riots, bold soft promises.
And all the promises are kept: Abelard;
Hiroshima; bloodied fur in a bird’s nest.
The World Waits for the Word
We’re waiting for him to come down
the mobile lounge they hooked onto
the plane sitting in the sun
waiting for us to be fed the calm
letting the wet in our armpits dry.
We can’t share the news or info he has
nor will we get what he doesn’t know
each time reporters ask
their aggravating questions
dressed as the solution to an equation.
We dance around as he descends
into the culture of ignorance
like a nervous pig in Animal Farm
coming back from bargaining
some dangerous ordinance for peace.
On our side of the table we can’t tell
if he keeps his face hard, jaw closed
whether something’s been left behind
other than the enemy’s invitation—
while Death sits outside in mourning.
JUDO LESSONS, 1968
to toughen me up and teach me self-defence
at nine my parents enrolled me in judo
three days a week after school. I hated
having to go there: the starched heavy gi’s
we wore, the lack of air conditioning,
front door propped open to the car-choked street,
ceiling fan stilled in the absence of breeze.
And the board mounted high on the wall, listing
in Japanese the various throws and sweeps,
phonetic pronunciations in English,
none of which could I make out, my glasses
folded like a butterfly in a sneaker
left near the door. The dojo was managed
by a redneck from Alabama, who hired
young men new to America, our teachers
born in the shadows of Hiroshima
and Nagasaki who spoke no English
and on a small hot plate heated sake
and bouillon in a dingy back room, steam
hanging in clouds. What I learned was mostly how
to fall, embracing it, my hand slapping
the mat emphatically, then bouncing right
back up—and bowing, a lot of bowing.
Not once did I enter a tournament
and our instructors received their green cards
long before I finally made green belt.
Years passed, my attendance seemed permanent
and if I grew stronger it was only thanks
to growing older. Until the neighbors’ boy
one day mocked my little brother and shoved him
face down. I grabbed the kid and, without thinking,
hurled him probably ten feet through the air
with a throw whose name I still didn’t know.
He screamed and ran off, only his pride hurt.
But my parents decided then and there
that all the lessons had been money well spent
and I didn’t need to go anymore.
By now I’ve forgotten almost all of it
but I still know how to fall—not if but when
time, as it must, knocks me to the ground, and laughs.
THE OUTDOOR ART SHOW
Folks scurry by in goofy garb
As if they’re coming from a funny farm
In baggy pants, split skirts, and Bucs T-shirts,
Or dazzling floral prints, with flip-flops on their feet.
Good morning. Beautiful day, isn’t it?
Love your work! Where’s that at?
Mont St. Michel—in France.
Oh, don’t you just LOVE Paris!
Do you care for this one, Dear?
A tall man points to a wildlife scene.
Too much blue, his wife says dismissively.
It’s won’t go with our new wallpaper.
A parade of folks in every shape and size
Sidle past—some with kids and some with dogs.
Most stand three feet from entryways,
Fearing, I guess, they might disturb the art.
Some give a quick sweep around the walls,
Sheepishly turning away, averting their eyes.
Most walk by with scarce a glance
As if they’re heading for a special task.
How much is this one? A gray-haired woman asks.
You think that’d look good above
The couch in the living room, Horace?
A grumpy growl is proffered in response.
Is that a watercolor?
I just love watercolors! Can’t do ‘em myself.
Actually, I can’t draw a straight line.
But my sister’s a real good artist…and so’s my son.
Most visitors make quick work
Of every art display
And rush in search of holiday crafts
To give at Christmas time.
THE METAPHYSICAL ALLERGIST
He’s been testing you
for everything,
applying the pin-pricks
of conscience.
You want him to treat
all your rash
decisions, stings
of regret, this haze
of speculation
filling your head.
Charts on the wall
show more philosophy
than you dreamed of,
an -ology or- ism
for whatever has been
ailing you. All you need
is a little something
to save your mind’s eye
its watering, your soul
its constant itch.
SMALL POND
Despite all the lily pads crowding
shoulder to rounded shoulder
across the would-be mirror of the pond’s surface,
and even though a few lilies look ready
to unfold, pink or yellow,
each bulbous as a little balloon,
I’m not reminded of Monet and his impressions.
nor do I think of the Buddha,
these flat green pads so lotus-like
and blossoming as if to sprout another world.
What comes to mind in this stillness
is how the woman who lived here fifty years
described the heron swallowing
the last of her koi, how she watched
what seemed like a knot working down
the slow rope of that throat
before the tall bird climbed back
into its wide, unreflected element.
ZEN AND THE ART OF HIGH SCHOOL
your parents were born was the kind
of conundrum we loved, strolling
between classes like the philosophers
in Raphael’s School of Athens,
though none of us had a beard or toga.
It seemed a more pressing question
than the sound of one hand
clapping, our slow, silent gestures
pushing against the musty air
of study hall, each of us ready
to step from the measured path
of Western Thought for a while,
eager for koans dense and heady
as magic mushrooms picked
from some forest floor, enlightenment
inviting us to its buzzy party,
no homework due till Monday.
PEACHES, SHE SAID
to her right, the ladder slid and she fell. Nobody
expected her to come out of the coma, said
it would be a miracle, so we all were surprised
when she opened her eyes and spoke. Peaches,
She said. Peaches. Then she died. Only after the house
sold and her son was clearing it out did we learn
what her last words were about. On a high shelf
In the pantry were jars of peaches she’d put up years ago,
the peaches she’d been reaching for that day.
poet’s perfect dream
table for two basement bistro
spaghetti dinner with chianti
long loaf of garlic bread
candle in empty wicker bottle
providing romantic light
bobby short playing piano
familiar cole love songs
dark café shadows
having friendly conversation
with beautiful dark-haired girl
enjoying pleasant ambience
anticipating late night passion
SEASON OF
Windows open. Snowdrops up. Lags bare. Spring!
She wants her hands in dirt. No armchair spring.
Grandpa remembers Yiddish proverbs, his
first-grade teacher’s name. Not “car,” “pear,” “spring.”
Some beast chomped my plants to stubs. The neighbors’
garden glutted with buds. I want their spring.
Zoom instead of visits. Even in dreams
I’m masked. Another me here/you there spring.
I know your tricks—using beauty to tempt
frozen hearts to open. Don’t you dare, Spring!
Ghost-pallored, maker of ghosts, Chauvin sits
unremorseful in the witness chair. Spring
of justice, season of whites waking up?
Or yet another life-isn’t-fair spring?
Coats and thick pants packed away. Warm air means
less clothing. Women exist. Men stare. Spring
of desire wound. Circling hawks. Ducks bob
on the light-kissed river. Jays declare, Spring.
The sky’s ferocious blue. Sun-dappled stone.
Trees tell stories of rebirth, repair. Spring.
GLIMMER
on a warm September Cape Cod day
en route to an end-of-life celebration
in the Upper Cape. She wants to visit a man
she worked with in Barnstable forty years ago.
No contact, just an address found online.
We’re greeted at the door with a warm smile—
Do I know you? And an invite inside. She talks
of those early years, recounting stories
fresh to my ears. He listens, nods, chimes in
with his own memories. Early afternoon light
streams through wide-paned windows
on dove gray walls displaying his photos. I love
your photos, she says. Familiar words
find purchase below the surface. He calls her
by the name she had back then—a moment
that lingers before the glimmer dissipates
like soft rain on a boardwalk in July.
BOBBY MORGAN WAS A FRIEND OF MINE
–after Stanley Plumly’s
“The Iron Lung”
The boy whose father is a major league
baseball player, a journeyman who can field
almost every position, lives around the block
from us, his right hand always hidden
by a mitt signed by his dad’s teammates.
If I had one of those, I’d never take it off,
even in the bath forced upon me by mother
who might swat my rump if I refuse
bubbles and dirty water. As it turns out,
Bobby Jr., that boy, will not be back
next year, his father traded or sent down
to the minors. I was too stunned for the news
to take hold in my pre-teen brain. How
can the world shift so suddenly as if
elevator cables were cut/snipped free
and down we go to basement level
whether that was our destination or not?
The boy starts to wander alleyways,
memorizing trash can placements, backboards
hammered to garages, clumps of weeds
winding up chainlink fences. He says
these walks and objects calm him, which sounds
Crazy to me, and he does not want company,
so I drift off home, and tune in
to an old cowboy serial, a shoot-em-up
in which good guys are always left standing.
AMPERE, OHM, WATT, AND VOLT
When I get amped up enough to stretch my legs, I go
for a walk in the mountains, power along a trail,
or so I thought until the other day I came upon high
wires strung between tall towers in a long line carved
through the forest and realized that I can’t hold a candle
to the light they bring to millions. So watt! I stopped
and squatted on a boulder, placed my hands together
against my chest and bowed down, chanting slowly…
ohm…ohm…offering no resistance to letting my
spirit float into the blue. I stood, continued my journey,
passed beneath one of those massive towers, metal
girders reaching skyward towards the ultimate power
on high. Suddenly she spoke: “Jim, lacking a strong
volta, you should transform this into a ghazal.”
SHE ASKED FOR A GHAZAL
The power on high spat on your form, implored you to try
to compose those lines differently, and thus you must try.
But trust yourself, Jim, to run free. Let go the constraints
of meter, rhyme, and repetition. You must keep on trying.
Time after time, the math man in you aligns with fourteen,
two and seven both prime. With numbers, keep on trying.
And yet—a river courses through your brain. You cannot
defy the urge to surge—you must channel it. Keep trying.
Same old refrain—too much resistance for you to retreat.
no goddess can chart your way. You must keep on trying.
Such a strain! Heart/mind –try as you might, you can’t win
the fight to leave one behind. Is there any point in trying?
So, Jim, redeem yourself. Ignore her request. You do know
the sonnet well. Yes, you do them best, hardly even trying.
IF DOGS COULD READ,
drive and park a car,
leash their frisky owners
for a leisurely walk,
strictly obey the large sign
at the trailhead; six feet
perhaps not enough to keep
their humans from endlessly
bounding after each other
to sniff a welcome.
Better still, no humans at all,
only canines with free run
of the preserve, no need
to pick up after themselves.
FROM THE CROW’S NEST
“Aarr! Aarr!” they call, the black flags
of their wings flapping around a pine that looms
like the mast of a galleon in the fog. “Avast,
me hearties. Dead men tell no tales. “Aarr! Aarr!”
My barber’s son dropped out of Trade Tech
to play a pirate at parties, and guitar
on weekends with the Crow-Barred Scrotes.
Pirates sunburnt shiny black as crows
board oil-tankers big as Monaco. Sometimes
they’re shot; sometimes they score millions
in ransom, or trials in the U.S., where lawyers
fight like crows over a rat the cat threw up.
“Aarr! I get the head and feet.” “Aarr!
Says who, Matey?” “Aarr!” the world roars
on International Talk Like a Pirate Day,
which honors Long John Silver, in whose dialect,
every sentence, inspired by the black rooks
of Cornwall, starts that way. Long John’s
Brittannia punished pirates—hanging,
drawing, quartering, then re-hanging the tarred
corpses to be pecked apart by crows.
They did this partly to scare off Henry
Morgan wanna-bes, partly for show.
In the Civil War, mobs sporting Sunday best
massed like cows on grassy hills to watch
reels try to sink the Ship of State.
Crows (naturally) despise conventional beauty.
“Damn yer eyes, Bluebird,” they rail.
As paramedics rushed my dad—in youth,
a duck-tailed brigand—on his last, heart-
stopping race to the ER, crows sang out,
“The Cap’n goes down with his ship! Aarr! Aarr!”
Hunger
miner, head-lamp gleaming.
It floats down from the brain like paratroops,
chutes grabbing sky.
It shifts cramped legs, pecks stomach walls with
its sharp beak, then breaks out, squawking.
Trapped, it gnaws off its own paw, eats it, then
limps into its den to growl and grumble and
grow huge.
Its army rumbles into town—friends if there’s
food, fiends if there’s not.
The more you pray that it will sleep through the
night, the more it wakes, red-faced, squalling.
As soon as doctors find a cure, hunger evolves a
new strain, deadlier than before. “To each
according to what he can grab, from each
according to what he’s too weak to keep,”
Judge Hunger rules.
“Blessed is a big meal and a healthy appetite,”
Jesus said. “Blessed are fat shepherds and
tasty sheep,” the Church replied.
YOU THINK YOU’RE SO SMART
Newton, Aristotle, or Shakespeare? Are you even
as smart as Nils Bohr, John Donne, Thomas
Jefferson? Are you as smart as Emily Dickinson?
And if you are—which you’re not—what
have you done worth grinding under the boot-
heel of her least accomplishment? Face it, you
who quipped, “Happy intellectual’s an
oxymoron.”
You’re the moron, whining, “The tax code is four
times as long as Shakespeare’s complete works.”
The lawyers who wrote that code are ten times
happier than you. They make ten times more
money, and if someone screws them, they know
what to do. They can enjoy a Rams game
or Lady Gaga show, while you squat
in your private box far from The Norm, proud
that the ruck never gets the things you love.
Where does that get you? Into bed alone,
pretending your wounds taste like marmalade.
The high point of your life is still the rainy day
you played Galveston Picnic with your mom,
using socks for fish, and colored beads for shells.
Watching Dracula at Oaks Drive-In, licking
Hershey’s chocolate off Linda’s lips, then settling
down in the back seat—that didn’t take a big
IQ. Yet you think people should say,
“You’re smarter. We’ll do it your way.” As if you
didn’t say in 8th grade, “Hamlet’s over-hyped,”
didn’t join Mensa in LA, hoping to meet genius
directors and brainy, sexpot actresses. What
has smart gotten you? A moment’s pride
on opening your SATs? Another for your full
ride to Ivy U.? And a good job; it helped with that.
But some people have better jobs; so you scowl
and mope—Genius Unrecognized—and think
the world gives a flying bratwurst what you do.
PANIC AT THE STRAND
a white elephant on my chest?
forehead streaming lava
fingers tingle ice
dizzy, I drop to the unswept
hardwood floor, lie down to study
the ceiling—at least if I faint
i have nowhere to fall
patrons unfazed, no one asks
are you all right? are you all right?
just keep breathing
i don’t have an ice cube for my neck
just this lukewarm bottle of water
scouring for your perfect birthday gift
in these 18 miles of books
the volume of shakespeare & co. paris poetry
out of stock outofstock
i might never see you again
meet you in midtown for coffee
separated by continents
keep breathing
separated by semicolons
it’s raining semicolons in here
they’re not as pretty as eighth notes
i forgot an umbrella
my blouse drenched
my back is so wet
our story isn’t over
just breathe
i need to deliver this paperback
of lahiri stories
she read in our hometown
at kleinhans music hall
so you can read them on an airplane
and think of me
ALPHA-BRAVO UNIT: CELL 15
since the first time
ever I found myself
in a bind
(many binds ago)
i knelt
by the side of my bunk
to pray:
loudly, madly, selfishly.
at my lowest, and,
down on the cold stone floor,
a blast of light
flashed over my face.
for a moment
i thought it God,
but there was only a Guard
laughing
as he passed by the cell door.
REACHING FOR KIBO
19,340 feet to freedom—
This is our Mount Everest.
This is our Kilimanjaro.
There is no Kibo to reach for,
No empyrean view at the top.
There is only
The idolum of own imaginings.
Followed by
Another Everest,
Another Kilimanjaro.
Oh,
And there is barbed wire too.
Moment
sitting in your mother’s kitchen while she steeps
a pot of tea. The two of you are laughing at
something she overheard at the grocery store.
Before you came, one of the guys at the factory
where you work, a beefy, mean-looking guy with
fists like sledgehammers, asked in a sneering way
what you were going to do while you were in
Miami, lay on the beach and get a tan?
“I’m going to sit in my mom’s kitchen and talk.”
You were embarrassed to say this, sounded like
such a boring thing to fly clear across the country
to do.
He looked straight into you, his face gone all soft,
and said, almost whispering, “I’d give anything to
sit with my mother in her kitchen again.” Then he
shook his head like he was trying to make what
he’d just said disappear, and stomped off.
You remember his words while you are laughing
with your mother and try to relish the moment,
hold onto it. But it passes too quickly, and you
forget all about it until you are the one wishing
you could sit in your mother’s kitchen again.
“Poetry resists the formulaic in its bid to reawaken us to the miracle and the mystery of our lives.”
– Tracy K. Smith
